Navigating Life's Seasons as a Highly Attuned Person
A Personal Reflection
By Michelle Luken
February 13, 2025
Childhood: The Emotional Thermostat
For as long as I can remember, I've been the one who could read the room. My mom tells stories about how I'd tend to my siblings, especially when they weren't feeling well, or subtly try to lift everyone's spirits when tensions ran high. Being the peacekeeper was my unofficial role, always adjusting the emotional thermostat at home to make sure everyone was okay.
School Years: Sensitivity in Learning
At school, my HSP traits came out in various ways. Open-concept classrooms were tough for me, as I found myself absorbing every stimulus around me. When able to focus, I enjoyed thinking deeply about what I was learning and discovered a love for writing. My proudest moment was when I wrote a 20-page “epic” about an angel fish in first grade. I also found joy in helping others, especially people with special needs.
College and Early Career: Finding a Professional Home
I suppose it came to no-one’s surprise that I found my calling in the field of occupational therapy. I soaked up every bit of the curriculum and fieldwork, knowing I’d found a home in a profession dedicated to helping people not just physically, but emotionally too.
For the first five years of my career, I worked at a premier trauma center in Baltimore, MD. I saw how quickly life can change and felt a deep sense of empathy and compassion for my patients.
I observed, both firsthand and among my highly attuned/sensitive colleagues, the emotional toll of caregiving. Another common high attunement/sensitivity trait that shone through was moral integrity and justice, especially when battling insurance companies over patient care needs and from witnessing the outcomes of poor healthcare equity in a diverse city. These experiences deepened my resolve to advocate for and provide comprehensive patient care and eventually led me to a new path—the Army.
Military Service: Leadership through Empathy
Joining the Army was a step into the unknown. My take on leadership, rooted in empathy and compassion, wasn't what you'd call standard Army issue. But it turned out to be a force multiplying capability.
It helped me build strong connections with and among members of diverse teams, resulting in a unified front - especially during tough missions.
On the other hand, learning to balance and shift my mental/emotional energy between the Army and my growing family was tricky. I discovered humbling pitfalls along the way, including emotional exhaustion, decision fatigue, and overstimulation by the time I’d arrive home from work most days.
To the Depths of Burnout and Back
The peak of these struggles came in the form of burnout after about 10 months of leading and serving on the front lines of the COVID-19 pandemic while pregnant at one of the DoD’s largest military hospitals.
My heart was heavy from absorbing the extraordinary pain and struggles of the most severely ill patients whom I treated for months. From treating them in the ICU, providing “in-home” virtual therapy, facilitating support groups, and providing out-patient rehab, I had been with them every step of the way.
This, combined with pregnancy hormones and fear of contracting COVID, led me to become a shell of myself. After a few months of therapy and time away from the COVID mission, I reflected on strategies and lessons learned about how to harness my HSP traits. I was able to find myself again.
After 8 years on active duty, I transitioned to the Army Reserves in an effort to stabilize my family and to start fresh professionally by building a healthier, more sustainable relationship with a new job. Over the next 2 years, I took on increasingly more responsibility and leadership roles at my new job as a researcher, as well as within my Reserves unit. Again, I found myself burned out and humbled by how much I had yet to learn about how to harness my HSP traits.
Transition: A New Chapter
In 2024, after more than ten years of service, I hung up my uniform. Stepping away was bittersweet, but I’m fortunate to continue my mission of supporting the mental health and performance optimization needs of Soldiers in other ways.
This transition has also provided an opportunity to dive deeper into the world of high attunement/sensitivity and view it through a different lens, not just professionally but also as a mom to two amazing highly sensitive children who mirror my own powers and pitfalls in the most humbling way.
Today: A Daily Dance with Sensitivity
Life now is a daily dance with sensitivity. Balancing my kids' needs with my own, managing the chaos of everyday life while trying to stay true to the strategies I recommend to fellow highly attuned/sensitive people—it's not always easy. But every day is a chance to learn and grow a little more, and to appreciate the beauty of being deeply attuned to the world around me.
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